


The Shadow Of Wolf 359

by mrpicard



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Next Generation (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Feels, Family Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Loving Marriage, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, The Borg, Trauma, Wolf 359
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 02:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11500182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrpicard/pseuds/mrpicard
Summary: Picard's son learns what happened at Wolf 359.WARNING: MIGHT BE TRIGGERING IF YOU SUFFER FROM PTSD!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The content of this little ficlet story is referenced in the [epilogue of my In These Arms](http://archiveofourown.org/series/673964) series but can also stand on its own.

Laurent slammed the front door shut behind him, walked into the living room and threw his backpack on the couch table. "Why did you never tell me?" he demanded with barely concealed fury in his voice.  
  
His parents looked at each other and then back at him.  
  
"Why did we never tell you what?" Picard asked.  
  
Laurent glared at him. "Why did you never tell me about Locutus of Borg?"  
  
Picard flinched as if someone had struck him right across the face.

Alex raised his hands. "Laurent -"  
  
The boy pointed at Picard. "We had the battle of Wolf 359 in class today and everyone stared at me when Miss Gelo said _you_ were Locutus of Borg!"  
  
Picard looked at his son, a helpless expression on his desperate face.  
  
"You killed 11,000 people and never said a word to me! You're a _mass murderer_!"  
  
"That is _enough_ , Laurent!" Alex snapped and stepped in front of Picard, shielding him from their son's anger.  
  
Laurent pointed at Picard again. "He destroyed 39 starships!"  
  
" _He_ didn't do _anything_ ," Alex barked. "I don't know what you were told in school today but your Papa Jean-Luc did not kill _anyone_ at Wolf 359. _Locutus_ did - you know what the Borg are capable of!"  
  
"Why are _you_ telling me this, Papa Alex? Why isn't _he_?"

Laurent looked at his older father once more and frowned when he saw what was happening: The usually strong and proud man had sat down on the couch in a strange, hunched-over position and was breathing heavily, his face buried in his hands.  
  
Alex followed his son's gaze. "He _can't_ talk about it - it takes even _me_ quite a lot to get him to do so."

Laurent looked back at Alex.

"Look... I will admit not telling you about your Papa Jean-Luc's exact history when it comes to the Borg was a mistake, but -"  
  
"Papa Alex -"  
  
"I'm not finished." Alex folded his arms across the chest. "I'm really sorry your classmates gave you a hard time and that you had to hear about Wolf 359 from Miss Gelo and not us, but please consider the background story here." He took a deep breath before he continued. "Your Papa Jean-Luc was assimilated by the Borg, which means they forced their collective consciousness into his mind and picked it apart until they had every single piece of information they wanted about the ships that had been sent to intercept that Cube at Wolf 359. And that wasn't enough - the Borg also made him _witness_ it all: Every critical hit, every explosion, every dead body floating through space. Your Papa Jean-Luc will never recover from this traumatic experience, and it's incredibly difficult for him to talk about it. It's therefore _no_ help whatsoever to have _you_ , his own flesh and blood, come in here and accuse him of being a mass murderer, and I won't have you throw even _one_ more verbal punch at him for th-"  
  
"Alexander."  
  
Alex turned around and looked at Picard, who had gotten up from the couch and walked up to them. "Jean-Luc, it's okay. I've got this."  
  
Picard shook his head, put a restraining hand on his husband's shoulder and then focused his attention on his son. "Laurent, I apologize for never telling you about Locutus. I would have done so, but I simply didn't have the strength... and I'm not sure I have it now."  
  
His hand that was still on Alex' shoulder began to tremble and Alex quickly put his own hand on it and squeezed it gently.

Laurent looked at his parents in confusion - he had never seen them act like this. "I... I'm sorry...."  
  
Alex raised his other hand. "You're angry and I get that, but please, tune it down, alright?"

Laurent nodded slowly.

"Now... if you want to know more about Wolf 359...?"  
  
"Miss Gelo actually gave us some non-classified records to read... it's... it's my homework for today."  
  
"Then read those first and if you have questions afterwards, come to _me_ ," Alex said. "But please, keep in mind what I've just told you."  
  
"I will, Papa Alex." Laurent leaned forward, took his backpack from the couch table and then walked up to his room, went inside and closed the door behind him.

Picard took a deep breath.

Alex looked at him worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Picard rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry... I should have been standing right beside you..."

"It's fine, I don't mind defending you when it comes to Wolf 359. I've done it many times, and a _lot_ more forcefully."

"Yes, but this wasn't some stranger who randomly walked up to me - this was our _son_." Picard sighed. "It was a mistake to never tell him."

"Maybe, yes."

"I hope he won't hate me now."

"No way." Alex gently pulled Picard closer. "He might be angry, but we raised him to always question his anger, and he will do that as soon as he's calmed down somewhat. In fact, I suspect he's already begun to do so."

Picard looked at the closed door of Laurent's room. "I hope you're right."


	2. Chapter 2

The corridor was narrow, almost dark and seemed to go on endlessly.

He stumbled and almost lost his balance but somehow made himself move on, terrified by the vague and yet certain knowledge that, if he stopped, he would meet a fate worse than death.

A _lot_ worse.

"Papa Jean-Luc? Help!"

He froze when he recognized the voice.

"Help me, Papa Jean-Luc!"

No!

This couldn't be!

He turned around despite the utter horror he felt at the mere idea of going back and slowly walked into the direction of the voice. Suddenly the corridor ended and he found himself in a dimly lit room with a metal slab in its center on which Laurent was lying, surrounded by three Borg drones.

"Papa Jean-Luc! Help me!"

He pushed himself forward, ready to fight the drones with his bare hands if he had to -

A fourth Borg drone stepped out of the shadows, he looked up... and was staring into his own face.

"Jean-Luc! Wake up!"

Picard threw his eyes open and found himself pinned down by two strong hands that were pressed against his shoulders.

The Borg! They had gotten to him!

He struggled against the grip - and then he realized that he knew the face of the man who was holding him down.

"It's okay, Jean-Luc," Alex said gently but firmly. "You had another nightmare. You're in our bed. It was just a dream. Everything is alright."

The words...

He remembered: Alex and he had memorized them for an entire week under the supervision of a Vulcan counselor - they were meant to help him find back to reality after one of his nightmares.

A nightmare...

He had had a nightmare, nothing more.

He felt himself relax and Alex let go of his shoulders, giving him room to slowly sit up. "You want some water?"

Picard nodded and Alex reached over to the bedside table, took the glass of water from it and handed it to him. Picard took it with trembling hands, gulped down its content and then handed it back to Alex, who put it back on the bedside table and then waited a few seconds before he spoke.

"What happened?"

"I... the Borg... Locutus... he had Laurent... I..." Picard broke off, breathed deeply and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "I'm sorry... I...."

Alex put his arm around his shoulders. "You know you don't have to apologize."

Picard shook his head. "I shouldn't still be having these nightmares. All it takes is one conversation and they're back - and I'm not strong enough to fight them, even after all these years."

"You can't fight nightmares," Alex said gently.

"I'm as weak now as I was back then."

"You are _not_ weak," Alex insisted and kissed Picard's bald head.

"I wasn't even strong enough to face my own son a few hours ago," Picard muttered.

"That's not true. Besides, Laurent understands - he and I went through the Wolf 359 records he had, remember?"

"What if he didn't understand after all?" Picard asked desperately. "What if he turns against me now? I couldn't bear this, Alexander... he... he's my only son... if he ends up hating me for what I did when I was Locutus..." He broke off and began to sob heavily, his tears dropping onto Alex' t-shirt.

"Laurent loves you as much as I do," Alex said reassuringly.

"But _why_?" Picard pressed, still sobbing. "I wake you up in the middle of the night and disrupt your well-deserved rest on a regular basis, and... and... that's not even all - I even _punched_ you once when I didn't recognize you right away; there was blood all over your face! And you? You simply sat there and endured it! _Why_ , Alexander?"

"I told you. I love you."

"But how can you _love_ someone like me? I murdered 11,000 people in cold blood! I don't _deserve_ your love!"

" _You_ didn't murder anyone," Alex replied patiently. " _Locutus_ did."

Picard waved his trembling hand. "I'm just as much to blame - I should have been able to stop the Borg! I should have! I _should_ have...!" He broke down in Alex's arms and the young bartender simply held him until his sobs became less frequent and his breathing more regular.

He had cried himself to sleep.

Alex smiled sadly and gently pushed Picard back into the soft pillows. Then he reached over to the bedside table and switched off the old-fashioned lamp on it, plunging the bedroom into darkness before he snuggled up against Picard and put his arms around him once more, holding him as close as he could.


	3. Chapter 3

"Papa Jean-Luc?"

Picard looked up from his croissant and felt a short stab of panic when his gaze fell on his son standing in front of the breakfast table with a serious expression on his young face.

He had come to talk.

"Yes, Laurent?"

The boy looked down and began to fidget with his fingers. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

Picard had a hard time remaining as calm as he hoped he looked; he was in no shape for a deep conversation - and this time Alex would not be able to intervene since he had already left for his early morning shift at the bar. "It's... it's... erm... it's alright, Laurent."

"No it's not," the boy said. "Papa Alex explained everything to me and I know now that I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry."

"You were angry. I understand."

Laurent took a step forward. "Papa Alex said you're worried that I'll hate you now." He briefly put his hand on Picard's shoulder. "I could never hate you, Papa Jean-Luc. But I hate the Borg for what they did to you."

Picard flinched when he saw the sudden hate in his son's eyes. "No, please... don't."

"Huh?"

"Don't hate the Borg."

"Why not? They hurt you."

Picard sighed. "Laurent... hate is a very powerful emotion that can consume you and envelop your entire being if you're not careful. It happened to me on more than one occasion that my hatred for the Borg clouded my judgment and endangered not only myself but also people I cared a lot about." He reached out and took Laurent's hand. "I do _not_ want for you to follow in my footsteps in this regard."

Laurent looked at his father's hand. "I'm not sure I understand, Papa Jean-Luc."

"You don't have to, not yet - just remember what I told you."

"I will."

Picard sighed again and gently squeezed Laurent's hand. "I'm so sorry, son... I wish you didn't have to carry this burden as well now."

"But if I help carrying, it will be easier for you."

"What do you mean?"

"More people are better at carrying something than one person alone is."

Picard had to chuckle despite the seriousness of the situation. "Oh, Laurent... I wish it were that simple." He ruffled his son's hair. "Now, though... you're still in your pajamas and today is a school day, so... hurry up and get dressed. I'll replicate some hot cocoa for you in the meantime, alright?"

Laurent smiled. "Alright, Papa Jean-Luc."


End file.
